Old Before I Die
by transmutejun
Summary: Written for the Gatchamania 2011 Gift Exchange
1. Part 1

This fic was written as part of the Gatchamania 2011 holiday gift exchange. This was my request:

_I'd like to receive a fanfic based on the Gatchaman Universe (preferably Gatchaman Fighter as always, but anything from the whole Gatchaman trilogy would be more than welcome!). Main character would always be preferably the Eagle and I'd like to see some angst this time with any hint of romance with the Swan involved … even any hint about the tight friendship between the Eagle and the Condor! A kind of sequel to the ending of Gatchaman Fighter would surely be a bonus, but please feel free to choose anything for me which could match even the smallest part of my request! Anything would be great!_

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Gatchaman struggled to rise, but found his body lacking. His strength had been entirely drained in the fight. The dark, metal walls of Sosai Z's pyramid seemed to close in on him, crushing hold im beneath their weight. Ken mustered all of the rage that was flowing through him, screaming out in defiance, yet it was not enough. Barely a whimper passed through his lips, and it was then that he knew the bitter taste of defeat.

Around him lay the broken and battered bodies of his teammates. He had let them down, in more ways than one. He was their leader; it was _his_ responsibility to ensure that they survived, that they lived to fight another day. From the time he had first become Gatchaman he had had one desire: to see that his friends were old before they died. No matter what happened to him, Ken wanted his teammates to live full lives, to survive to enjoy the peace they had fought so hard for. And now, he had failed not only them, but also himself.

They were counting on him; he was the only one who could save them. Yet his wretched husk would not obey his commands, his flesh refusing to respond to the orders issued by his brain. He was rotting away in despair, decaying in his own weakness, betrayed by his own inability to defeat the enemy who even now taunted him from on high.

"You are pathetic, Gatchaman." Z's voice echoed around the metallic chamber, ricocheting through his mind until he thought his skull might burst in agony. "You cannot defeat me. After all of these years, haven't you learned how weak you are when compared with a being like me? I am more powerful than I have ever been, and I will turn your feeble little planet to dust."

Ken fought to stand, to raise his Fencer in defiance, but barely managed to lift a finger. He gasped for air, his throat choking him from within…

He awoke from the nightmare in his mind, only to resurface in the tragedy of his life. Breathing heavily and drenched in sweat, Ken struggled to sit up in his own bed, his fingers trembling as he reached for the light switch. As the harsh artificial illumination flooded the room, he caught sight of himself in the mirror.

For a brief moment he was startled, then fascinated by the stranger who appeared before him. He was unable to tear his eyes away from the sallow skin, lank hair and dull gaze that swam before him.

The old proverb said to be careful what you wished for. In perverse fashion, his wish for his companions had turned on him. Ken was old. No matter his chronological years, his body had aged far beyond recognition. To some degree, the same had happened to his teammates. Of late he could see their age as well, etched into the lines of worry that criss-crossed their faces, the fading light in their eyes, their pained and lethargic movements whenever they were around him.

They were not dead yet, but they were so very close.

The curse of it all was the Hypershoot. At first it had seemed to be their savior: a weapon so powerful it could destroy any mecha Galactor threw at them. The Firebird they had used for so long had finally proven to be ineffective: Sosai Z had discovered ways of protecting his iron beasts against its attack. And so Dr. Nambu had spent long hours developing a new offensive: one that was capable of counteracting the enormous warcraft commanded by Count Egobossler and his men.

The Firebird hadn't been enough, and so the Hypershoot was more: more powerful, more deadly, more draining. Yet the Firebird had required all five members of the Science Ninja Team to operate. Not just their vehicles, but also their bodies. The Science Ninja Technique: Firebird had merged with them, using their strength, their energy, to fuel itself. Only together could they accomplish this feat.

The Hypershoot was different. It also ran on energy and strength, yet it was wielded by only one person: Gatchaman. Ken alone was responsible for powering and directing the Hypershoot weapon. When he used the Hypershoot, Ken felt as if he could do anything, fueled by an adrenaline rush the likes of which he had never experienced before. But at the same time that he was dealing death to Galactor, the Hypershoot was doing the same to him. Only that morning Ken had seen the results of Dr. Nambu's latest scans. The Hypershoot was eating away at his very core, spreading a slow poison throughout his body. He was literally rotting from the inside out, turning himself into a corpse through continued exposure to the lethal price that had to be paid.

Ken was unable to move, barely able to fend for himself, but not because of anything Sosai Z had done to him. No, this was something he had done to himself, by continuing to use the Hypershoot, even once Dr. Nambu had figured out what was going on, even knowing the terrible consequences that would ensue.

"Ken?"

He looked over to see Joe's head sticking through the doorway.

"What is it?" Ken snapped, a little too harshly.

"I thought you might want to talk." Joe shrugged, not the least intimidated by Ken's foul mood. "The medical techs said you were awake."

"The medical techs? How did they know…?" Ken suddenly realized the answer to his own question as he felt the electrodes attached to the side of his head. Angrily he pulled at them, yanking them from his skin and leaving a raw feeling behind. Yet he welcomed the pain, appreciating the honest, direct sensation. How different from this insidious illness that weakened him, yet never surfaced from its hidden depths.

"I see you're feeling better." Joe smirked, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms in a sardonic fashion. He reached into his pocket for a feather shuriken to chew, then frowned in disgust. Despite his grim situation, Ken had to smile. It had been more than five months since the Science Ninja Team had been allocated their new hand weapons. Joe's shuriken had been upgraded to include options for poison gas, fuel power and flaming attacks. Yet all of these improvements had made the feathers too lethal for chewing, even for a cyborg like Joe. Even after all of this time, Joe was still frustrated when he was unable to engage in his previously habitual behavior.

"A little." Ken admitted. He could feel his strength returning to him slowly. Carefully he propped himself up on his arms, so that he was leaning on his elbows. The rest of his body still lay uselessly underneath the sheets. For the moment, rest was the only way for him to regain his abilities, yet this cure was far too slow. As it was, in his current condition, it would take him at least a year of rest to regain a normal level of health, and that was under the presumption that he never used the Hypershoot again, and that he continued to improve at the rates Dr. Nambu had projected. But a year was far too long to wait. A month was too long. If the Doctor was right about what he suspected Sosai Z had planned, the Earth could be destroyed within a matter of weeks.

What was one life, in comparison to all of the lives on an entire planet? How could he even contemplate _not_ making this sacrifice?

Joe's gaze narrowed as he watched Ken struggle with such simple movement. Something passed through his eyes for an instant, before it was hidden behind the Condor's usual mask of detachment. Yet it was too late: Ken had seen the emotions written on his friend's face.

"Don't pity me." Ken growled, anger surging up inside of him. As the Hypershoot ravaged his body, it also brought forth his rage, eating at his hard-won emotional control. Of late, it seemed that Ken was angry more often than not, railing against the world… or anything else that crossed his path.

"I'm not…" Joe sighed as Ken glared at him. "I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do."

"What the hell can _you_ do?" Ken lashed out. Joe didn't deserve this, but he was there, caught in the sights of Ken's anger.

"Let me use the Hypershoot." Joe said suddenly. "Just once, or maybe twice. Long enough to give you a chance…"

"There's no chance, and you know it." Ken spat. "There isn't enough time for me to heal, no matter what happens. Once or twice won't do anything for me. But for you…"

"I know what Dr. Nambu said." Joe cut him off, waving his hand dismissively. "The Hypershoot would irreparably damage my cybernetics. But he's been wrong before."

"And suppose _you're_ the one who's wrong this time?" Ken shot back. "What happens if using the Hypershoot, even once, is enough to melt your circuits and fry your brain? Who's going to bring you back, Joe? Dr. Raphael is dead, Dr. Pandora is dead. Dr. Nambu isn't an expert on cybernetics. Hell, Kamo's an engineer, maybe we'll let him patch you up and see what kind of job he does of it."

"It's worth the risk." Joe insisted. "Ken, I can't just stand here and watch you die!"

"So it's better that _you_ die?" Ken laughed harshly. "It's still the same old thing with you, Joe, isn't it? Even after all of these years. _You_ are the one who's supposed to die. _You're_ the one whose life is worthless. _You're_ the one who can afford to be noble and self-sacrificing."

"I'm already living on borrowed time, Ken."

"Cut the crap. I heard enough of that when you came back from the dead." Ken snorted.

"You stole it from me, you know." Joe pointed out. "My 'noble sacrifice'. I should have been the one who destroyed Sosai X."

"So you're sorry I saved your ass?"

"No, of course not." Joe grimaced. "And for what it's worth, I've saved your sorry ass more than once, so we're even on that score. But in this case…"

"There's nothing different about this case."

"There is and you know it."

"All right, Mr. Smart Guy, tell me what's so different."

"_We can do something to prevent this_." Joe's steely glare bored into Ken's heart, as if his cybernetic eyes could see past the flesh and muscles to the cancer inside. "We know it's happening. There's a chance for us to change things."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

"I've already told you."

"Then I'll ask you again. What makes you better suited to dying than me?"

"You have more to live for."

"Ha!" Ken snorted derisively. "What makes you think I have anything to live for? Once Galactor has been defeated, I've served my purpose."

"Jun."

"I…" Ken opened his mouth to respond, but found the words suddenly lacking. He fell down onto his pillow, his arms trembling as they gave way underneath his body. Jun…

Years past, he had buried his feelings for Jun deep inside. Nothing could ever come of them, and he had more important things to worry about: a higher purpose. Long ago, after Berg Katse had died and there had been a brief moment when they had thought the fighting might be over, Ken might have given those emotions free rein. Yet he had been too ravaged by grief, both for his father and for Joe, to let anyone else into his personal hell. By the time he had managed to work through his inner turmoil, Galactor had surfaced once more, and Ken had returned to his duties as Gatchaman. There had never been any time for Jun: she was a luxury he simply couldn't afford.

His desire to defeat Galactor was as strong as ever, perhaps stronger, thanks to the effect the Hypershoot had had in eradicating his emotional stability. Yet at the same time his anger had been let loose, so had his other emotions. Of late his feelings for Jun had surged to the fore more than once, particularly on the few occasions when they were alone together. If anything he had been harsher with her because of it, in a vain attempt to hide what he was experiencing. Still, his emotions ran wild, as if he were a young teenager dealing with latent hormones suddenly rampaging all through his body.

"There's nothing between Jun and myself." he said stiffly, his words directed more into the pillow and toward the wall than they were at Joe.

"No." Joe agreed. "But there could be, if this damn war were over."

"Irrelevant. This war isn't over, and the way things look right now…" Ken's voice dropped off. No matter what he felt in the depths of his heart, it was an entirely different matter stating it out loud. Gatchaman was not allowed to have doubts, much less express them.

"This war _will_ be over someday, and then you'll have your chance." Joe insisted.

"Who's to know for sure? And you're presuming that Jun would even have me."

"Trust me, you don't need to worry on that score."

"I'm not. I mean, it's not something I think about. I mean…" The words twisted around in Ken's mind, until he wasn't even certain what he wanted to say anymore.

"All of this is irrelevant, in any case." Joe suddenly noted. "Now that you're off the Team…"

"That's only temporary!" Ken's anger fueled his body, and he suddenly found the strength to sit up. Yet once he had achieved the desired position he was exhausted, forced to lean against the wall for support.

"Of course it is." Joe answered smoothly. "Until you've been able to rest and regain your strength. But in the meantime, we'll need someone to use the Hypershoot."

"You can't use it without me." Ken replied smugly. "You need all five G-Machines to unite to create the Gatchaspartan."

"I know." Joe admitted, and for the first time, Ken caught a glimpse of Joe's concern on his face. His friend was truly worried… not just about him, but about their fight against Galactor.

"Look, Ken…" Joe bowed his head for a moment, coming to grips with his emotions before speaking again. "We have to last long enough to defeat Galactor. If you burn yourself out, it doesn't do anyone any good. Let me use the Hypershoot, even if only occasionally, just to give you a break. To help your body recover."

"Maybe I won't need a break." Ken whispered hopefully. "There's still the Cytechno Beam." The Cytechno Beam was a relatively new medical advancement that was still in the experimental stages. In fact, so far it had only been tested on animals. But even as they spoke, Jun and Dr. Nambu had gone to evaluate its potential in curing Ken's cancer.

"It's your best shot." Joe agreed. "We should be hearing from Dr. Nambu shortly. He and Jun have been gone for a while now."

No sooner had Joe spoken the words than his bracelet lit up.

"Joe!" Jun cried. "Come in! Joe!" Ken's heart caught in his throat. Jun sounded absolutely terrified. Something had gone horribly wrong.

"Jun, what is it?" Joe responded immediately.

"It's Dr. Nambu! We were evaluating the Cytechno Beam when Galactor attacked! They knew we were there. I didn't want to but… Dr. Nambu insisted that I leave him while I took Dr. Ross and the Beam device…"

"Jun, are you saying that you left Dr. Nambu behind at the research center, in the middle of a Galactor ambush?"

"I had no choice! He ordered me to get the Beam device back to ISO Headquarters, so Ken could be cured. I'm almost there. We have to go back and save Dr. Nambu!"

"We'll meet you on the roof." Joe agreed. No sooner had he terminated the communication than Ken had jumped out of bed, his strength suddenly returned as his mind grasped the urgency of the situation. If Galactor captured Dr. Nambu… Ken didn't want to think about what Count Egobossler would do to the man he looked upon as a second father.

"Wait, Ken!" Joe called, grabbing Ken's arm just as he was headed out the door. "You can't leave! You've been temporarily relieved of duty! You have to stay here!"

"I can't stay!" Ken retorted, yanking his arm out of Joe's grasp. "Galactor is attacking Dr. Nambu! We have to save him!"

"But Ken!"

Ken didn't listen. He dashed off down the corridor, heading for the roof of the ISO building, where their G-Machines waited. Ryu and Jinpei came out of a side corridor, and Joe shouted at them to follow.

Ken barely heard. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, lending him the strength to sprint up to the roof, ready for action. All that mattered was saving Dr. Nambu. To hell with his illness!

Ken leapt up the stairs two at a time, energized by the urgency of the situation. He reached the door to the roof, throwing it open, dashing heedlessly across its expanse to the G-Machines on the other side. Yet before he was halfway there, a gust of air crashed into him, nearly sending him to the ground. He held up his arms, shielding his face from the wind that buffeted his body, his strength suddenly seeming insignificant with the arrival of this new force.

A jet was landing at ISO Headquarters. Jun piloted the aircraft down to the roof, landing twenty meters away from Ken. An older, portly man was with her, and he held some kind of mechanical device in his arms. Yet Ken ignored him, his eyes focused on Jun as she leapt out of the pilot's seat and onto the roof, her white wings flaring out behind her. She approached Ken purposefully, her eyes wild and her stance firm.

She stared aghast at him, raising her arm and landing a sharp slap on his left cheek. Ken gasped in sudden pain, taken aback by the aggressive action of the usually mild-mannered Swan. He held his hand to his cheek, gaping at her in shock.

"I can't believe you would do something so stupid!" Jun lectured, her face stern, but her eyes holding a hint of compassion. "I contacted Joe because you are relieved of duty! Right now your duty is to stay here and let yourself be treated for your condition! Ken, once you rebuked me for giving up, for not fighting until the bitter end. But now you, yourself, have given up! You're accepting that your fate is to die, rather than fighting your illness." Inwardly Ken winced. Jun throwing his own words back in his face was a low blow, and yet she was right. He _had_ given up. He had let his fears for Dr. Nambu's safety overwhelm him. His emotions were out of control, and he had let them get the better of his common sense.

Still, the mere idea of letting his teammates go off without him hurt more than any wound he had ever suffered. How could he let them go into battle alone, without him to lead them?

"Dr. Nambu sacrificed himself to ensure that you received the treatment you need!" Jun went on, her words cutting far more deeply than any slap. "You're an idiot! An idiot! How could you do such a thing to him, to us?" Tears brimmed from her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks, and yet still she held his gaze, her emotions a reprimand in and of themselves. Finally she allowed her tears to fall, bowing her head.

"Ken… please…"

He had thought that he could not be any more ashamed, and yet she had proven him wrong. He bowed his head, grimacing at his own weakness, both physically and emotionally. Ryu approached, clapping his back in sympathy. Jinpei glared at Jun, clearly angry that she had taken it upon herself to reprimand Ken. Ken wanted to tell the boy that Jun had the right of it, but lacked the ability to do so. They moved on toward their G-Machines, Joe following behind, His friend stopped to place a hand on his shoulder in silent understanding, then ran off to join the others.

Jun was the last to depart, sadly turning away from him. He raised his eyes, seeing her white-winged form leaving him behind.

"Jun…" he called softly, unable to bear the pain alone. "I'm sorry…"

"I know you'll do your best, Ken." Jun said, refusing to look at him. "You always do…"

With a choked sob she ran off, joining the rest of his Team as they took to their G-Machines. He forced himself to watch as they launched into the air, four where there should have been five.

"Good luck…" he whispered tears prickling at his eyes, "and thank you…"


	2. Part 2

Ken lay upon the procedure table, electrodes attached to his entire body. The metal surface felt cold under his flesh, yet a sheen of sweat glistened on his skin. Now, at the moment of truth, he was having sudden doubts. The Cytechno Beam was experimental, yet everything hinged on its success. If it didn't work, he would never be able to use the Hypershoot again, never return to lead the Science Ninja Team…

"Joe… Jun… Jinpei… Ryu… my comrades…"

Thoughts of his teammates filled his mind as the procedure began. The Cytechno Beam activated, enveloping his body in a sickly yellowish light. His body was wracked with pain, and yet at the same time he found himself completely paralyzed, and unable to move. However in comparison to the agony of being left behind, of being unable to help Dr. Nambu in his time of need, the physical pain was nothing. Ken's thoughts cried out in anguish as they followed his teammates out on their mission to rescue the Doctor.

If only he could be with them…

Everything hung in the balance, teetering on this experimental treatment. It had to work. It _had_ to. That was the only hope he had left.

He didn't know how long he lay there, underneath the pulsating waves of the yellow beam, drifting in and out of consciousness, but eventually he was roused by the touch of a hand on his bare shoulder.

"It worked!" Dr. Ross' rotund face was glowing with excitement. "The Cytechno Beam worked! My first test on a human subject, and in such terrible shape too…"

"Terrible shape?" Ken asked, rising slowly from the table. Gingerly he tested his muscles, one by one. They felt… they felt great!

"Not anymore, young man." Dr. Ross replied smugly. "The Cytechno Beam has increased your rate of cell replication, renewing the damaged portions of your body and allowing them to rebuild in a matter of minutes, rather than years. Of course, your cancer is still present…"

"But my body is back to normal!" Ken grinned as he realized his wildest hopes. "I'm cured!"

"Not cured… the damage has been mostly reversed, but the cancer still…"

"I have to go." Ken interrupted, reaching for his clothes and yanking them on as quickly as he could. "My teammates need me. There's still time..."

"Of course." Dr. Ross replied. "You must retrieve Dr. Nambu, and save my laboratory assistants. But when you return, there is much we need to discuss…"

"Later!" Ken cried, even as he dashed out of the room, heading for the roof. As he sprinted down the metal corridor he felt completely alive, every nerve ending tingling with power. He swung his left arm around in front of his face, his movement and words almost instinctive.

"Bird… go!"

The flash of white light was so familiar that it was almost a part of him: a powerful herald of his duty, his purpose. His Birdstyle formed around his body, molding itself to his shape, his wings flaring out behind him. He was strong; he was alive; he was powerful.

He was Gatchaman.

He leapt into his G-1, barely wasting time to spare a glance at the ISO personnel who scrambled out of the way of its liftoff, staring in awe as they saw Gatchaman taking off into the sky. Setting his bracelet into locator mode, he quickly found the others, flying close to the center of the Research City that had been built around a series of ISO facilities.

They were still fighting. There was still time.

As he neared the scene, his bracelet automatically tuned in to 'broadcast' communications, which were sent out automatically to all five members of the Ninja Team during aerial combat.

"I'm going in!" Joe's voice came over Ken's bracelet. "It's the only way!"

"Joe, you can't do this!" Jun cried.

"I have to destroy this damn panther." Joe replied grimly. "If I don't make it, carry on without me."

"Joe, it's suicide!" Jun shouted.

"Joe, don't do it!" Ryu added.

"Joe Aniki!" Jinpei cried.

Ken's heart pounded in fear, feeling as if it were about to leap out of his chest. He had left his Team to fight alone, and Joe was going to pay the ultimate price for Ken's illness.

Ken couldn't let him do this! Just as he did not want Joe to kill himself by using the Hypershoot, neither did he want Joe to kill himself because Ken was not there to use it.

"Stop! Pull back!" Ken shouted into his bracelet, just as he came into visual range of the others. In the distance, he saw a massive black mecha, shaped like some kind of cat. He supposed this must be the 'panther' to which Joe had been referring. Next to its immense size, the other G-Machines appeared to be nothing more than tiny gnats buzzing around its body.

"Unite Gatchaspartan!" Ken ordered. He felt the familiar thunk as Jun's G-Machine clicked in behind his, then the corresponding echoes as Jinpei and Ryu fell into place alongside her. The link was completed as the G-2 settled onto the others, uniting the vehicles and transforming all five G-Machines into the Gatchaspartan.

"Gatchaspartan together! Delta Power!" Ken commanded, not wasting any time. He pulled down the Power Lever, pushing the ship into the red zone. The G-1 shot away from the main body of the ship, effectively being launched by the united power of the other G-Machines. His hatch opened, allowing him to stand upright, leaping onto its hull. As his ship flew toward the mecha panther he reached for his weapon, drawing it out and activating its energy beam.

"Gatchaman Fencer!" he cried, feeling its essence surge through him.

The G-1 flew on a collision course with the panther mecha, appearing as if impact were imminent. At the last moment Ken swerved, shooting by the massive creature's body and slicing off its front right leg with his Fencer. The leg fell away, falling toward the ground for a fraction of a second before swinging back around and coming straight toward Ken. Unbelievably, the severed limb had a mind of its own, attacking Ken in its own right as the main body of the panther looked on. Ken jumped off of the G-1, dodging the attack as he flew into the air, somersaulting backward and landing back onto his ship. The leg, not the least disheartened by the near miss, returned to the panther, reconnecting with the mecha, which turned to attack the main body of the Gatchaspartan.

Ken signaled Ryu, returning to connect with the Gatchaspartan. He sighed inwardly, steeling himself for the ultimate test. Clearly Delta Power was insufficient to defeat this mecha; he would need to use the Hypershoot.

He didn't hesitate for an instant. Now that his course of action was clear, any delay would be senseless. He leapt backward again, somersaulting once more until he landed on the rear of the Gatchaspartan, atop the back of the G-2 vehicle.

"Ultra Hypershoot!" Ken commanded, feeling the Delta Power surging and passing through his Birdstyle. The energy merged and flowed within him, fed by the righteous anger that fueled his fight. White light flowed around him, burning away the chemical energy of his physical form, enveloping him in its protective force field.

The panther opened its mouth, shooting out a red beam that washed over the Gatchaspartan, but Ken barely noticed. He was alive in the crackling power of the Hypershoot, becoming one with the electricity that flowed through him, until he had truly united his form with that of the Gatchaspartan.

The Gatchaspartan soared through the panther's mouth, forcing its way into the mecha's body and bursting through its right side. Red smoke and white lightning enveloped the mechanical beast, resulting in a massive explosion a few seconds later. Galactor had been thwarted once again, and the threat of the panther mecha had been neutralized.

The Delta Power ebbed away, but unlike previous occasions, Ken's strength did not. He stood proud and tall on the top of his ship, wings fluttering behind him as the Gatchaspartan proudly flew down to the top of the research building where Dr. Nambu waited, along with Dr. Ross' lab assistants.

Ken had been cured. Dr. Nambu was safe. This war with Galactor must surely end soon.


	3. Part 3

It hadn't worked.

Rather, it hadn't worked well enough. Less than twenty-four hours after Ken's treatment with the Cytechno Beam, he was bedridden once more, barely able to muster the strength to stand, much less walk. He had been so certain that he had been cured… but it seemed that what science had given could easily be taken away. His cells had replicated quickly enough, restoring his lost tissue, but under the stress of the Hypershoot these new tissues had literally disintegrated, struggling to maintain their cohesiveness in the wake of the enormous energy flows passing through his body. Only hours after Dr. Nambu had been rescued and safely returned to the Gatchaman Base, Ken had suddenly collapsed, unable to move under his own power. All of the progress gained from Dr. Ross' experimental technique had been undone.

Now Dr. Ross had prescribed smaller sessions of treatment, allowing cells time to rebuild and gain leverage in Ken's chemical makeup before his body was put through the process again. Such a regimen would still have him fully healed inside of a month, far better than the years Dr. Nambu had predicted if his body were left to heal on its own.

Yet there was still the problem of the cancer.

The Cytechno Beam was a cell replicator: it did nothing to harm the malignant tumors that had taken over Ken's body. The beam had been refined and targeted well enough that it only triggered regeneration of Ken's natural cells, but no effective treatment had yet been devised to eliminate the cancerous growths. They remained, growing, perhaps thriving, inside of him, determined to take over his physical form. Not yet… but soon. And if he kept using the Hypershoot, it would be sooner than he would like.

In the end, it amounted to rest. As long as he was not on duty, he had to rest, to stay in bed, saving his strength for when it really counted, so that his body could use the remainder of his physical energies for healing. He had no effort to spare to rein in his feelings, and so, free of their usual restrictions, his emotions ran wild. One moment he was full of rage and angry denial as to his physical state; the next he was overcome by grim acceptance and desperate mental exhaustion.

Of course, it was damn boring lying around in bed all day, but Ken supposed it was a small price to pay for being able to continue in his role as Gatchaman. Dr. Nambu had lifted his temporary suspension from the Science Ninja Team, on the understanding that Ken would continue to reserve his strength for when it really mattered. Once he would have had no difficulty following such orders, but now the restrictions chafed on him. Impatience flowed through his veins, making him restless. He itched to pace the room, yet such action would have been a waste of his energy. His mind rebelled against this enforced inactivity, and so it was a welcome distraction when there was a hesitant knock at his door.

"Come in." he said eagerly, sitting up in his bed and turning his face toward the sound. His mercurial emotions swung again, filling him with excitement at the prospect of relief from his intense boredom.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you." Jun said quietly, peering through the doorway. Her cheeks reddened slightly and her eyes dropped to the floor as she took in Ken's mostly bare form underneath the sheets.

"Not at all." Ken smiled, not the least discomfited. "I'm going stir crazy in here. It's good to see a friendly face."

"Friendly, huh?" Jun flushed slightly. "I wasn't very 'friendly' to you yesterday."

"You weren't? Oh…" Ken suddenly recalled Jun's reaction to seeing him on the roof when she had been forced to leave Dr. Nambu behind in the midst of a Galactor attack.

"I don't regret what I did," Jun said quickly, "but I was hoping that you weren't too… offended…"

"I'm not offended." Ken assured her, his depression settling back in as quickly as it had previously departed. "You were right. I was in no shape to be leaving on a mission, no matter how important. And as it turns out, even after the treatment, I still wasn't ready…"

"I'm glad you were there yesterday." Jun admitted. "The price we've paid for this war has been too high. But I'm afraid, Ken. I'm afraid that it's only going to get higher. And if that happens…" Her lips trembled and her eyes shone brightly. Ken couldn't help feeling protective of her, sympathizing with her desolation.

"We can't lose you, Ken." Jun said, tentatively balancing herself in a sitting position on the edge of his bed. "_I_ can't lose you." She looked down, refusing to meet his eyes, but her fingers brushed at his on the blanket. Without warning, her hand reached out, clasping his tightly.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Ken." she admitted, still refusing to look at him. "When I saw you on the roof yesterday, ready to do whatever it took, consequences be damned… I can't let you do that." She raised her gaze then, and Ken saw something in her eyes he had never seen before. There was a fierce determination… a desperation… and something else…

The swirl of emotions already running through his head suddenly transformed into a maelstrom, buffeting him this way and that. Something rose within him, identifying with what he saw in Jun's face and reacting in unexpected fashion. His heart pounded in his chest, his blood rushed through his body, every nerve tingled with tense anticipation…

He was no longer able to hold himself back. Wordlessly he reached out with his free hand, pulling her head closer to his until their lips touched, sending an electric shock through his system. Their eyes met, and Ken saw the surprise in Jun's gaze, and also the pleasure. Her mouth softened beneath his, her head tilting slightly to accommodate his position. He accepted her invitation, engaging in the kiss more deeply, feeling more alive, more aware than he had ever done using the Hypershoot. His hand still held hers and he brought it to his bare chest so that she could feel his heart pounding beneath his skin.

Jun's response was immediate, her hand sliding over his exposed flesh as her lips answered his own, measure for measure. She sighed softly in her throat, a sound full of both happiness and longing. His body hardened in answer, his arms encircling her as their kiss continued.

Dr. Nambu had said that Jun, along with Jinpei and Ryu, was unsuited to use the Hypershoot, as the weapon was fueled by the passion of its wielder. According to the Doctor, Jun had insufficient 'passion' to activate the Hypershoot, yet in an instant Ken realized how wrong Dr. Nambu had been. Jun's passion matched his own, perhaps even exceeded it. It would appear that she was simply far better than Ken at holding such passion back, denying its existence.

He had denied her for far too long.

He kissed her again, holding nothing back, for the first time grateful that the cancer within him no longer forced him to rein in his emotions. Hope suffused him, allowing him to grasp at the possibility of a future, something _after_ the war had ended.

As their kiss melted away he pulled Jun closer to him, until she was lying next to his body, her head resting on his chest, his arms wrapped around her. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling its warm, sweet scent, allowing it to fill him with a peace he had never known.

_A peace he never should have known_. He was overcome by a sudden regret, horrified by this thing he had done. He tensed, understanding that he had to undo as much of the damage as possible.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, his strength gone once more. "I shouldn't have let you know…."

"Let me know how you feel?" Jun replied, looking up at him with soft, liquid eyes. "I'm glad you did."

"I can't promise you anything." Ken confessed, his cheeks flushing with shame. "The future…"

"The future will bring the end of the war." Jun told him. "And when that day comes…"

"I may not live to see that day." Ken admitted. "I shouldn't have let you hope."

"You will see that day, and the days beyond." Jun declared hotly, fire burning in her emerald gaze. "I won't let you throw your life away, Ken."

"I'm not throwing anything away." Ken disagreed, but that wasn't true. He was throwing away the possibility of a future with Jun, admitting that death was all that awaited him. It was only a matter of how long…

"You don't have to use the Hypershoot." Jun did her best to persuade him. "Joe could use it. I could use it."

"Joe can't use it. You heard Dr. Nambu. His cybernetics would fail." Ken insisted, fear welling up in him as he avoided addressing Jun's other suggestion. From what he had just seen, it would appear that she _could_ use the Hypershoot, that she was capable of sufficient 'passion' to wield such a powerful weapon. Yet the thought left him more terrified than the idea of his own death. He had to protect her. He couldn't let her subject herself to the hell that even now ate away at his very soul.

"I'm going to do whatever it takes, Ken." Jun promised, her eyes locking with his. "You can't stop me. I'm going to make sure that you live to see the end of the war."

The expression she bore was far beyond her physical years, aging her noticeably. Jun had become old, in the same way that Ken was now old before his time.

He would make things right, somehow. He owed her that much.


	4. Part 4

Gatchaman struggled to rise, but found his body lacking. His strength had been entirely drained in the fight. The dark, metal walls of Sosai Z's pyramid seemed to close in on him, crushing him beneath their weight. Ken mustered all of the rage that was flowing through him, screaming out in defiance, yet it was not enough. Barely a whimper passed through his lips, and it was then that he knew the bitter taste of defeat.

Around him lay the broken and battered bodies of his teammates. He had let them down, in more ways than one. He was their leader, it was _his_ responsibility to ensure that they survived, that they lived to fight another day. He had failed not only them, but himself.

Ken fought to stand, to raise his Fencer in defiance, but barely managed to lift a finger. He gasped for air, his throat choking him from within…

Yet this time it was not a dream but a living nightmare: one that was all too real. The Gatchaspartan had been launched into space, in a last ditch attempt to prevent Galactor from bringing the Poison Apple asteroid to Earth. They had managed, at great cost, to destroy the numerous Galactor ships around it, by confronting Galactor head on. Yet in the end, it had not been enough. The asteroid was still headed for the Earth at an alarming pace, and in desperation Ken had led his Team, for that matter the entire Gatchaspartan, literally into the belly of the beast. Count Egobossler's men had blown a hole into the side of Sosai Z's pyramid, and seizing upon something… _anything_… he could use, Ken had ordered Ryu to fly through it, taking them inside the dark pyramid.

Since then everything had gone from bad to worse. They had been separated, taunted, battered, bruised, and then finally, they had come together to achieve their goal. Jun, Jinpei and Ryu had distracted Z long enough for Joe to use his cyborg strength to break the casing surrounding Z's heart: the glowing red fragment that had once been Sosai X. But Joe had expended all of his energy, and it had been up to Ken, already weakened by his cancer, to take out his Fencer and finish the job of annihilating their enemy, for once and for all.

Z had been destroyed… but gone with him were their hopes of stopping the Poison Apple. The alien creature's terrifying legacy remained in the asteroid still hurtling toward the Earth. Ken's energy was gone, his teammates unconscious from their fight. There was nothing else they could do.

The people of Earth were counting on them… and they had failed.

"Ken…"

Ken blinked rapidly, hardly believing his eyes.

"Dr. Nambu…"

"You have power within you, Ken. More than you know." Dr. Nambu's ghostly image flickered as Ken stared at him. "I had to leave before I could explain my last achievement to you. The answer lies in the pendant."

"The pendant…"

"Use the pendant. Ken. Draw on its strength to do what must be done."

Dr. Nambu vanished, and Ken found himself back inside the ruins of Sosai Z. He reached into his belt, pulling forth the silvery pendant that Kamo had given to him. The Phoenix on its front stood aggressively, defiant against anything that might attempt to thwart it.

Ken's eyes widened. Had it _moved_? He wasn't certain, yet he knew he was out of options. Gently he pressed down on the pendant, activating whatever mechanism was inside.

Even that small effort proved to be too much for him. His eyes closed, and the pendant fell from his hand onto the floor. Yet he was _aware_ of what was happening, as if his mind was somehow linked with the device.

The pendant began to glow, taking Ken's life force from within and setting it free. Full of his life energies, the pendant rose into the air, taking Ken's consciousness with it as it transformed. He was simultaneously aware of himself lying on the ground, and also hovering in the air. The glowing force studied the downed forms of his teammates, lingering infinitesimally longer over Jun, noting her close proximity to Ken's physical body. They were not near enough to touch, yet somehow he was instantly conscious of her presence both in front of him and below him, his physical and emotional selves responsive to her body positioning and the slow beating of her heart. This awareness remained with him as his glowing life force flew past the others, toward his G-1.

With a thought the hatch slid back, opening, allowing the glowing energy orb to enter. It flew into the engine itself, activating the vehicle and causing it to lift into the air. It analyzed the G-1's interior systems, hesitating only briefly when it found the connections to the other G-machines, recognizing that the full Gatchaspartan was needed to access all of the vehicle's capabilities.

Slowly, Ken pulled the life force from the other members of the Science Ninja Team, sending their essences into the air and setting them free to seek out their own G-Machines. Four more vehicles activated, hovering in the air. Distantly, Ken could sense Joe, Jinpei and Ryu merging with their vehicles. His connection to Jun was much stronger, and Ken actually felt her with him as they rose into the air, letting the energy flows guide them to their places.

The Gatchaspartan united with a hum and a click that resonated deep within Ken. It was not merely their vehicles joining, but their minds: all of them were together, working toward one goal, knowing instinctively what must be done.

From their hearts their power swelled, bursting forth and enveloping them just as Ken activated the Hypershoot. Yet this time, rather than standing atop the Gatchaspartan, separating himself from the others, he remained inside, allowing them to share in his burden, each of the five participating equally in the generation of Delta Power.

A wall of fire surged forth, washing over him, surrounding him, taking over the Delta Power and making it its own. The flaming sensation was both painful and achingly familiar. As it always had, the Firebird consumed him, draining his essence even as it fulfilled him, using his mental and physical energies to sustain itself as it burned around their ship. Ken had not experienced the Firebird in so long; it was only now that he realized how much he had missed it, how much it had been a part of him.

He lingered over these feelings for so long that he almost missed another sensation stealing over him. The Firebird was not simply burning around him, burning through him, but it was also seeking out the cancer inside of his body, taking it over and leaving ash in its wake. He writhed, screaming in pain as he felt new tissues growing, replacing what had been taken away, yet in his heart he knew that it was good: this pain was one of regeneration and rebirth, one that had been with him for as long as he could remember.

The Firebird burst through the side of Sosai Z's pyramid, forcing it away, into the Poison Apple asteroid as the now-empty metal chamber became lost in the eddies of their ship's wake. Beating its wings, the Firebird flew around the Earth, wrapping it in the sphere of its protection, forcing the pyramid back into the destructive forces surrounding the crackling ball of sickly, green light.

The asteroid rebelled, emitting its destructive powers to obliterate the pyramid, creating an immense explosion in space. The force of the detonation hit the asteroid in turn, propelling it away from the Earth, harmlessly pushing it out of the solar system and into the universe beyond. Well satisfied with its efforts, the Firebird screamed its delight, crowing and preening with its dominance, reveling in the power of its rebirth.

Yet it wasn't only the Firebird that had been reborn. All of them were flowing through its flickering flames, their bodies reconstructing themselves, taking away all of their darkness and replacing it with light. When the Gatchaspartan began to cool they awoke, eyelids fluttering even as the flames diminished. Ken looked around, realizing that he was in the cockpit of the G-1. Mechanically he activated the interior ejection, sending his chair backward into the Bridge of the ship.

As he entered he felt the eyes of the others upon him, staring at him in happiness and awe.

"That was… amazing!" Jinpei blurted.

"I didn't realize how much I'd missed the old girl." Ryu grinned.

"How did you do it, Ken?" Joe asked curiously.

"He surrendered." Jun replied. Everyone turned to stare at her, recognizing the truth in her words, and curious as to how she knew. Yet Ken understood. She had been with him from the beginning, and had been a necessary part of his rebirth. Jun was his other half, and as such, she was aware of all that had happened within him, just as he was with her.

"The pendant…" Ken attempted to explain further.

"Where is it?" Joe questioned, before suddenly realizing the answer. "It's inside of us, isn't it?"

"We joined with it." Ryu whispered in astonishment.

"We really were soaring with the Firebird." Jinpei gasped.

"The Science Ninja Team's greatest strength has always been when we were joined." Ken stated. "When I was using the Hypershoot, I forgot that, attempting to take all of the burden onto myself. I guess Dr. Nambu was trying to remind me that I need you all… Gatchaman can't do it alone."

"Together, we can overcome anything." Jun whispered, and the smile that lit up her face put the beauty of the Firebird to shame. The lines had fallen away from her eyes, her skin was no longer dull, and her body glowed with energy and strength. As Ken looked around at the others, he realized that it was true of all of them. They were no longer old, but young, filled with the power of their unity.

They had survived the final battle, and would live to grow old once more.

It was all he had ever wanted.


End file.
